symbolism

an account of a broken heart of my friend.

'promises n more promises.....
in d end all of that is just a bunch of bullshit. u feel like a fool and tastes like dirt in the mouth.

oh yes i will b fine. i dont hav money or inclination to buy a bottle of whisky n drink my pain away,nor am i going to cry my pillow wet. no words of poetic tragedy is gonna escape me. and no gloomy faces. all symbolism is dead...my motto is ...no symbolism is best symbolism.

i dont want to end up a cranky old lady. its k..... after all i am more privileged than poor ppl,sick bed ridden ppl, ppl who hav no hope of recovering from illness n living a life, those who lost their livelihood.

its just that i really dont trust anybody enuf to expect any concern or love from them. i respect my parents n brother n best friend ...i will do wat i can for them. but i dont know if i lov them..maybe i do but i wil never say it ... n so i want to live like this. no hard feelings against anyone. its jus tht i will never let anyone rule my heart or watever is left of it.  if i had an option of dying i wuld hav. but i cant do that coz i hav ppl to liv for. again its not lov just duty.

duty is a good thing. it replaces 'insensible' emotions like love. duty to parents, to work ,to religion more than rationality . thats why corporations r richer than human hearts n there r more deaths by calamities than heart attacks.

there goes tragedy poems again!..tuh! .... im letting myself slip away. i just hav to tell myself 1000 times a day that 'he doesnt love me' and things wil fall in perspective.

bas... thoda internet, thoda dance classes, cooking, n lots of reading...life cut jaayegi. now waiting for the countdown to death. '