Tuesday, June 5, 2018

My Solo Date in busy Doha

Will the waiter judge me for not knowing the finer differences between a latte and a cappuccino?
Will my mother-in-law's friends spot me in the cafe alone and introspect over it?
What if my son asks for me at home?
Will I live through this solo date?



These were the questions churning in my head as I went for my first solo date - just me,a book and a bundle of nerves. This was in my head for some months but I felt ridiculous at first picturing myself alone in a crowd,stationary at a table not talking or conversing with someone and not even buried in a smart phone. Psychopath no? 

But then kicking off one mental obstacle after the other, I finally decided to go for a half yearly resolution. 16 fortnights remaining in 2018 and every fortnight I plan to visit a different cafe in Doha with a new book or a book by a new author. Not just any book in my TBR(to be reads) or wish list but specifically those I -

- wasn't comfortable in terms of genre (horror and crime - Stephen King here I come)
- avoided a topic because I didn't relate to (politics and magic realism - give me all the Gabriel Garcia Marquezs)
- tucked away because of general procrastinating. (I will hold the heavy hardcovers till my wrists break and evaporate!)


from my Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/treezam/ for food and nature clicks

and https://www.instagram.com/treezbooks/ for all things books.




Also each of these solo dates will be in different cafes or restaurants so that I don't get comfortable with a particular area in the city ( I love the Pearl ) or my favourite corner (window with a view) and will help me to know the city where I have been 6 years but never thought of venturinng out without borrowed eyes.

So my first solo date happened last weekend. Yayy!

But before delving into the details of that you must be probably thinking if the idea of going out alone was something that I needed to consult/ convince/ sermonize/ debate /call 911 with regard to my husband/ family/friends. Well my husband is an amazing and supportive person. His care is limitless but he also understands my space that as long as I can take care of myself , its ok. So I didn't need to explain or justify myself at all. I did brief him about my 'self project' and that was it. All hearts!




So, as it is Ramadan time, the restaurants and cafes here in Middle East do not open to public until evening. So on a warm, yet pleasant evening I went to Figaro Coffee here in Doha. An adequately spaced cafe, cozy and with a compact menu, its at the Ghanim Business Centre near Hotel Westin. The quiet neighbourhood and distant hum of traffic is both relaxing and also assuring. I opted for an iced tea and opened my first book - A Far Cry from Kensington by Muriel Spark.



Published in 1988 the book is set in the 1950s of West London. Narrated by a young lady lodger about her life and the adjoining characters, this acclaimed novel recounts daily life in post war London. This is my summary from the brief I read online and on the back cover. ( Do you also read up a little on an author and the book before starting a book? Let me know in comments )

I had bought the book more than a year ago. In my various bouts of pensiveness and floating moods, I kept picking it and keeping it back in the bookshelf. Though the cover was interesting enough to remain in my mind.

I read about 15 pages in the cafe,sipping on my orange iced tea. The book has certainly has piqued my interest, Ali Smith's introduction notwithstanding. However, before I could get lost in the interesting narration of Mrs. Hawkins, I decided to finally go back home. Plus my refreshing iced tea had finished!

So how did it feel to be out alone?
It was interesting and weird.

Interesting because I pushed away a habit of mine of being too dependant on everyone when it came to spending time and going to places. I was never comfortable taking a taxi. Till date I'm not familiar with Doha roads. The primary reason being that I never ventured out alone. You know a city well only when you start to use your own feet and eyes right? I could tune into my breathing, note the world around me when its busy and when the shadows lay still. I could even feel my heartbeat vary with my mood. I learned to talk to a waiter and not just 'order' and that people need smiles and kind words often.




And it felt weird because I missed my usual company - my husband and my little brat. The usual talks and joint fun commentary on people and things around. No no I didn't cry but I know it will take me time to get used to these solo dates but that's the point right?...to get used to being uncomfortable. The brain should complain a bit. And also makes you appreciate yourself, your time, your space and your loved ones even more.


Plus, books and cappuccino are always great company!




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